


To chat or not to Chat. (Not please)

by EBBAisGay



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Comedy, Demigirl Penny, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Group chat, I guess???, Lesbian Agatha, M/M, Pansexual Penny, Slow To Update, Texting, are yall ready?, i think, im not, my gal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-09-30 15:28:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17226593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EBBAisGay/pseuds/EBBAisGay
Summary: The Gang but they are all friends, Simon has a phone and stays with Penny during the summer and other random stuff lol. Oh and it's pretty Gay.





	1. Keysmashing is Bottom Language

**Author's Note:**

> Damn I started this a few months ago but forgot about it alsfjkds  
> Heres this! I won't abandon it at all, it'll jsut take a long time to update with all the other fics i have lol.  
> I missed this fandom ;w;
> 
> Enjoy!

**AgathaWellbelove made a new group chat**

**AgathaWellbelove named the group chat ‘Friends!!!’**

**AgathaWellbelove added PenelopeBunce, SimonSnow and BazPitch**

 

AgathaWellbelove: Hello my dear friends whom I appreciate and love and and would kill myself for :)

AgathaWellbelove: I created this group chat because I believe that we need one and so our beautiful friendships could last!

BazPitch: Blocked.

AgathaWellbelove: well godammit. I’ve tried

PenelopeBunce: But you failed.

SimonSnow: Broskies this is the best decision you have ever made Aggie

SimonSnow: Like ever so thank you UwU

AgathaWellbelove: but I have also dated you?

SimonSnow: Exactly 

SimonSnow: And? Your point?

PenelopeBunce: Is that an insult to you or to Agatha?

SimonSnow: Both??

AgathaWellbelove: mood but still

AgathaWellbelove: BAZ

AgathaWellbelove: BAZZIE

BazPitch: What.

AgathaWellbelove: stop with that Correct Grammar bullshit and write normally

BazPitch: But, this is how I write.

AgathaWellbelove: gays dont write like that mate perish

PenelopeBunce: ASDASD

SimonSnow: HAH

BazPitch: kjasfkjlfsakjl

BazPitch: fucking fine ok ya got me

SimonSnow: Wait dont like

SimonSnow: Bottoms keysmash

AgathaWellbelove: KDHDFSJKSF

PenelopeBunce: KASJFHAK

PenelopeBunce: WAIT NO

SimonSnow: HAHAHA

AgathatWellbelove: i take pride in my verse-ness fuck you

PenelopeBunce: I would totally peg Micah fuck off.

BazPitch: ASDFDGASF

AgathaWellbelove: ew straight

PenelopeBunce: THAT IS PANSEXUAL ERASURE F U C K O F F 

SimonSnow: omg

AgathatWellbelove: yeah ok sorry jkskjfjkjfk love u

PenelopeBunce: …

AgathatWellbelove: : (

PenelopeBunce: Love you too.

AgathaWellbelove: : D

BazPitch: ew lesbian

PenelopeBunce: THIS IS ERASUREEDGGHHJHJ

SimonSnow: Yall stop being so mean to

SimonSnow: She or they?

PenelopeBunce: They^^

SimonSnow: Stop being mean to them > :((((

AgathaWellbelove: damn youre using emojis that aint good

SimonSnow: >:(

PenelopeBunce: OK but when will OP literally awknoledge the fact that Baz keysmashes

BazPitch: excuse you i do not do That

_AgathaWellbelove sent a photo_

AgathaWellbelove: screenshotted from earlier bitch

SimonSnow: pffft

BazPitch: jokes on you i can say its photoshopped

SimonSnow: baz we can see it as well

BazPitch: nope

AgathatWellbelove: hey baz

 

BazPitch: what

AgathaWellbelove: gay

BazPitch: asjhgdKJADGFDSF WHY IS THAT FUNNY

SimonSnow: HA BOTTOM

BazPitch: stop bullying me

BazPitch: what do you have with bottoms jfc???

SimonSnow: w 

SimonSnow: wait youre actually a bottom

AgathaWellbelove: WAS IT NOT OBVIOUS

SimonSnow: I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE

PenelopeBunce: ASDFDSS

BazPitch: LEAVE ME ALONE OK

BazPitch: and yes i am

 

PenelopeBunce: Simon

PenelopeBunce: SIMON

 

SimonSnow: what

PenelopeBunce: Why don’t you keysmash

SimonSnow: I dont speak 

BazPitch: dont u dare

SimonSnow: bottom

AgathaWellbelove: ASFFDS

PenelopeBunce: ADKJFHAJSHFL

BazPitch: b that way

 

 

**Private chat between Aggie and Bazzie**

Aggie: I TOLD YOU

Bazzie: i dont know what to do with that information 

Aggie: hehehehehehe

Bazzie: look

Aggie: Your 15/16 year old self would have a good time knowing that

Bazzie: AGATHA

Aggie: AM I WRONG??? DSGFDS

Bazzie: LOOK.

Bazzie: IM

Bazzie: havin a good time right now as well but it doesnt mean anything >:V

Aggie: jfc u never use emojis

Bazzie: snow is a bad influence on me

Aggie: aslfjldjgfkgf

 

**Private chat between GoldenPenny and Snowy**

GoldenPenny: So

Snowy: dont @ me

GoldenPenny: _@Snowy_

Snowy: PENNY

GoldenPenny: :3c

Snowy: FUCK O F F


	2. Høngry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penny wakes Simon. He realises something.  
> Oh and they will hang out soon yay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just had my exam and I am Exhausted. I finished this today lol
> 
> Enjoy!

**Private chat between Penny and Simon**

Penny: SIMON

Penny: SIMON WAKE UP

Penny: SIMON

Simon: JFC PEN WHAT IS IT

Simon: ITS ONE A M

Penny: I can’t sleep AND.

Simon:...and?

Penny: I want some Food.

Simon: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh

Simon: Its late tho

Simon: We still have some leftover lasagna penny wtf just get that

Simon: Im tored and my skin is still on fire bc i didnt think the sun would burn me

Penny That’s your problem mate.

Penny: Mom told you to put on sunscreen.

Simon: Yah but still.

 

Penny: Brøther

Simon: NO

Penny: Give me the lööps

Simon: PENNY

Simon: nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn FINE 

Penny: :DD

Simon: Were going to mcd

Penny: Damn, really?

Simon: Eh

Simon: Look its the closest fcking thing to us ok

Penny: Damn why are you so mean :(

Simon: Bazs sarcasm rubbed off on me

Penny: O

Simon: PE N N Y

Penny: Sweetheart, why are you denying it.

Simon: You still want mcd?

Penny: Well yeah

Simon: Then now or never

Penny: Smh ok let me tell mom

Simon: cool cool

 

 

Penny: Ok but seriously why are you denying the fact that you have feelings for Baz?

Simon: Penny 

Simon: Look I just

SImon: He is Baz! He isnt just a bloke I met on the street right?

Simon: Like the bloke that Bloody flirted with me at Mc

Simon: He literally was my enemy just a few months ago ffs

Simon: Words hard ugh

Simon: I just

Simon: Weve been fighting for so long, just started being friends and i realise that I have a crush on him or that i might be in lo

Penny: Simon???

 

Simon: Oh my fuck

Simon: I need Emotional Support

Penny: Can I come in your room?

Simon: Please

 

‘

 

Simon: But damn if sexuality isnt confusing ugh

Penny: MOOD.

Penny: But like, take your time.

Penny: You don’t need a label just yet, i mean.

Penny: It took me some time with my sexuality and even longer with my gender and it was a confusing road.

Penny: I’m here for you though.

Simon: Yeah

Simon: Thanks Pen

Penny: Np, anytime.

 

 

**Group chat ‘Friends!!!’**

**AgathaWellbelove changed their name to ‘LessBab’**

**BazPitch changed their name to Baz**

 

LessBab: boo

 

**SimonSnow changed their name to Simon**

 

LessBab: DOUBLE BOO

 

**PenelopeBunce changed their name to Penny**

 

LessBab: WTF

Penny: :*

 

LessBab: why does everything feel so cliche

Baz: tf do u mean

LessBab: I Mean

LessBab: the bad Side ™ is now friends with the Good Side ™

Penny: That’s biased Aggie

LessBab: i didnt mention who was Good and who Bad

Penny: Good point.

LessBab: ^-^

Simon: Shes right and she should say it

Simon: Is the War still going on tho??????

Baz: idk but from what ive heard from snooping around is that they are rather hesitant to bloody fight lmao

LessBab: Lol politics succ

Baz: so do u

LessBab: LOOK

Simon: Idk the mage still sounds angry at Y’all

Penny: Y’all

LessBab: Y’all

Baz: Y’all

Simon: omg????

Penny: We’re not american get fuCKED.

LessBab: blease i dont know politics blease

Penny: Come over, I’ll explain.

LessBab: k

Baz: thats a good excuse

Penny: LOOK.

LessBab: ASASDGSDS NO BAZ NO!!!!!!!

Simon: Baz can I come over I dont wanna listen to them fucjahsfkjgsdkghaddfhgh

LessBab: is he

LessBab: is he dead

Baz: finally

LessBab: are ya sure

Baz: Yes

Penny: LOOK. MY MUM IS HOME OK I WON’T D A R E

Baz: OH so if she wansnt you would fuaskjghakjfjhal

Penny: Did you kill,,,

Penny: Him?

LessBab: ye

Simon: Are you at his place???

LessBab: ye

LessBab: were friends now as well so fuck you

Simon: Damn how many times have yall hung out alreadyl

Agathat: most of the summer

Penny: :(((

LessBab: HOW ABOUT

Baz: no

LessBab: WE HANG OUT

Baz: NO

LessBab: ALL FOUR OF US

Baz: N O

LessBab: blease 

LessBab: before the sunmmer ends :(((

Baz: no

Penny: Yes

Simon: Yes

LessBab: The Jury has Chosen

LessBab: GET FUCKED

Baz: asdhdhjHAFSHJADSHJ FINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it wasnt too OOC lads!
> 
> Have a great day/evening! And Night!


	3. HANG OUT WOOOOOOO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They hang out!!! And are gay!!! Wow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup homos! Another chap
> 
> Enjoy!

**Group Chat “Gay”**

Baz: im gay and im ready to bloody die

LessBab: wrong chat love

Baz: Oh shit

LessBab: RT

Simon: rt

Penny: rt

Baz: HGHGHGHHG

 

**Private chat between Baz and Agathat**

Baz: im gAY and ready to bloody dIE

Agathat: why now sweetie

Baz: hng

Baz: hes so???? Cute????

Baz: more like Hot but still

Baz: how can he look so good in yellow??

Baz: AND ORANGE? NO ONE CAN PULL IT OFF SO GOOD?????

Agathat: Oh mood

Agathat: I can pull off yellow tho!!!

Baz: ya but like,,, pastel yellow more like

Baz: and I meant Like 

Baz: opaque orange

Baz: NEON ORANGE

Baz: NEON COLOURS S U C K BUT HE G E T S I T

Agathat: fair point i guess

Baz: hngbhggfgfhgghghghghghhgh

Baz: i cannot

Baz: even say how much

Baz: I just

 

Baz: hhhhhhhhhhh

 

Baz: thank fUck im a vampire

 

Agathat: w

Agathat: why

Baz: u see, i forgot to drink blood yesterday so

Agathat: wtf

Baz: im not a blushing mess

Agathat: O

Agathat. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh

Agathat: yeah ok fair point

Agathat: i cant help u tho im in the same boat

Agathat: she looks so cute in that dress??? Im crynig big fat lesbian tears

Baz: ya but u can tell her that m8

Agathat: and i Did

Agathat: but

Baz: no

Agathat: so can u

Agathat: tell him i mean

Baz: no u

Agathat: SDKFJSKDJFS

Agathat: no but rlly

Baz: hahhahahahhahahahhahahahahahha bloody good one right there

Baz: agtha no

Agathat: oh come on you fucking cunt

Baz: no

Agathat: hmpf fine

Baz: :T

 

**Private chat between Simon and Penny**

Simon: PENNY

Simon:PENNY OMG 

Simon: PE N N Y

Penny: WHAT IM RIGHT NEXT TO YOU

Simon: YAH BUT BAZ AND AGATHA ARE IN HERE

Simon: BUT

Simon: PENNY DO I HAVE A JEANS FETISH OR AM I JUST BLOODY STUPID

Penny: KJAHLFASDFASFAS????

Penny: WHAT??? EXCUSE YOU????

Penny: IM TRYING TO HAVE A PURE GOOD TIME RIGHT NOW WTF SIMON

Simon: It’s just

Simon: He’s wearing Jeans

Penny: ...And?

Simon: HE NEVER DOES THAT!

Penny: IS IT THE FIRST TIME YOU SAW SOMEONE IN JEANS?

Simon: OF COURSE NOT!!!

Simon: BUT BAZ-

Simon: I have Never seen HIM in jeans

Simon: Baz

Simon: IN JEANS

Simon: And im IN shock

Penny: I still dont get it

Simon: think abt it this way

Simon: the first time u saw,,, agatha in a leather jacket

Simon: WITH black eyeliner

Simon: when we went to that concert

Penny: …

Penny: F u c k ok i get you.

Penny: I cannot help you in anyway...

Simon: BETRAYED

Simon:BY MY OWN S I S T E R??

Penny: KAJSHFAS

 

**Group Chat “Gay”**

Baz: where are you guys

Penny: I got lost in your library

Simon: same

Simon: but just lost

Agathat: im w penny and im jsut going wherever she goes lol

Simon: I’M NOT WITH HER

Simon: I’M ALONE THIS PLACE IS SCARY

Baz: yea watch out for the ghouls that sometimes rome that place

Simon: THE WHATTRGYFSHDFQ37449SD

Baz: did they get u already?

Simon: No.

Simon: I tripped lol

Penny: Was that the thump that we heard?

Simon…

Simon: ...yeah…

Baz: s i g h

Baz: im coming to get you

Simon: !!!

Simon: Blease do

Baz: omw

Simon: God Bless America

LessBab: were in the uk

Simon: and?

LessBab: fine

 

**Group chat “Gay”**

LessBab: ARE YOU CARRYING SIMON ON YOUR BACK

Simon: YES HE IS AND IM T H R I V I N G

Simon: I forgot how strong u are omg

Baz: Yah bich im a vampire what did u guess

Simon: But still

Baz: fucking STOPP BLODDY HITTING ME IN THE BACK

Simon: OKOK SORRY

 

LessBab: OK WERE ALL HERE

Penny: What should we do?

Simon: Watch a movie???

Baz: o

LessBab: thats a great idea!!!!!!

LessBab: hey asshole what movies do u have

Baz: ughghhghg lets go look idk i think i might have smth

Baz: or netflix :/

LessBab: OOOOOOOOOOOO LETS WATCH FRIENDS

Penny: Blocked

Baz: Unfriended

Simon: Reported

LessBab: JKSJKLDSKLJSD

LessBab: fine lets watch sherlock

Simon: RT

Penny: Sigh

Penny: Rt.

Baz: fINE

LessBab: WOOOOOOOO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it was fine^^  
> I might get another chapter by the end of the week so keep ur eyes out for that!!!
> 
> Hope you have a great day/evening! And night!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed it! If you want to talk to me follow me on Tumblr @biancas-koala !  
> Are you guys ready for the second book? I'm not asjdkjs
> 
> Have a good afternoon/evening! And night!


End file.
